For Mae

There are those moments in life when certain things just need to be done. This particular moment was when I went to Petsmart to purchase a garment for my dog. Now there are several details which go into purchasing clothing for one’s dog. First of all there is the breed to consider. Miss Mae is a Black Standard Schnauzer with the stereotypical behaviors of such. She is a pushy, dominant, loving, and loyal soul with eyes that could con most people out of the highest quality doggie treats on earth! 

I go this day to the store trying to look casual, as I would when buying her food or her house mate’s supplements which failed miserably, when I arrived at the rack of items I was to consider. The rack I spotted initially had costumes which are a concept that doesn’t apply in my house. I personally cannot ask my Schnauzer, Bouviers or Old English Sheepdog to portray the role of pirate, vampire, reindeer, pumpkin or witch so I moved on past the costumes or so I thought.

The next rack contained items that were a level beyond the first set.  I didn’t see me bringing home a costume for a stripper, any cartoon creature or costumes which clearly were made by humans for humans! Then I spotted what I dreaded seeing. There it was: PINK!  Mountains of PINK! Pink sweaters appearing wool like, which is interesting considering it was almost 100 degrees in Tucson on this mid-October day! There were lavender and pink coats. There were fuchsia colored sweaters with hoods. There was even pink cardigan like sweaters! I could not with any degree of sanity or sense put my classic looking noble schnauzer in anything pink! So, I moved on. I saw fake furry coats, fake leather coats, fake windbreaker coats and downright fake, fake coats. I even saw t-shirt material outfits which I suppose serve some purpose but I’m not sure of what exactly.

Finally, when I was about to leave I heard a voice in my head. Yes, it was my voice and no, it did not speak to me about the government or what crime I ought to commit.  I heard the sane voice say:  “We’re going to the Northeast in a few days and the weather is going to be cold. You can’t ask Mae, recently shaved, to walk around in freezing temperatures with no coat.” At that moment, I looked up and saw a black windbreakerish coat with a nice soft fleecy lining so I looked for a size that I felt would work and walked up to the cashier. Now one would think this would be the end of this tale but it is not.

Not all cashiers are the same and this one felt it necessary to comment on my selection. She said: “This is very plain. Are you sure you wouldn’t like something more colorful? We have them in pink you know.” Dear God! Pink! Pink? Did I really hear her say: “Pink?”  “No, that’s OK, I’ll stick to this. I’m getting this for a standard schnauzer.” “Oh, I’m sure she’d like some color!” 

Did I really just hear this woman make reference to the fashion tastes of an animal? This moment took me back in time, as tends to happen more and more as I go further into middle age. Many years ago in a very rural section of the Northeast, a woman looked at my driver’s license and said: “What country is Arizona in?” At first I thought she was joking, I was wrong. She was not. I remember saying: “This one,” and then observing the puzzled expression that followed on this young woman’s face. As I did way back then, I again saw a puzzled expression on this cashier’s face. I believe the sentiment that followed was: “Why wouldn’t this woman want her dog to look pretty?”

I did end up purchasing the plain coat for my girl. I have no moral issue with the color pink. I just don’t feel that either Mae or I are pink kinds of souls. If anything, as we grow older, we may wear purple!